Today
It’s a feeling that sneaks up on you when you’re not even looking. A kind of heaviness that stems from trying to meet the endless expectations of others—their hopes, their standards, their visions of what your life should be. I know it well, and I’ve danced to that tune more times than I care to admit. But here’s the truth I’ve learned through it all: living for others’ approval will hollow you out, while living up to your own expectations will fill your life with purpose and joy.
Let me tell you about a time when I was drowning in the sea of others’ expectations. It started innocently enough—I wanted to please my family, my friends, my colleagues. I thought their approval would light the way to happiness. I tailored my decisions, my actions, even my hobbies to fit the mold they had for me. I chose a career path I wasn’t passionate about because I thought it would make my parents proud. I filled my weekends with activities that pleased my friends, even when I longed for quiet moments to recharge. I let the image they had of me dictate who I was, and in doing so, I lost myself.
The more I gave in to their expectations, the less I recognized the person staring back at me in the mirror. The joy I expected to feel from their praise was fleeting at best and nonexistent at worst. Instead, I felt like an actor playing a role I hadn’t auditioned for—stuck on a stage I didn’t want to be on.
It wasn’t until I reached the breaking point that I had a profound realization: no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t please everyone. And the more I chased their approval, the more miserable I became. It was like trying to fill a bucket with a hole in it—the approval slipped away as fast as I poured it in.
From that moment on, I decided to turn inward and focus on what I wanted, what I needed, and what mattered to me. I began asking myself the tough questions: What do I want to do with my life? What values do I hold dear? What would make me proud of myself? It was a soul-searching journey, and it wasn’t easy. But as I started living up to my own expectations, I discovered a kind of freedom I’d never known before.
Take my career, for example. I switched paths—something that felt terrifying at the time. Instead of pursuing a field my parents thought was “safe,” I followed my passion. And you know what? While it took time for them to understand, they eventually supported me. But even if they hadn’t, it wouldn’t have mattered, because I was doing what was right for me. The satisfaction of knowing I was chasing my own dreams was worth more than any external approval.
Living up to your own expectations doesn’t mean rejecting others entirely or being selfish. It means honoring your own values and goals while thoughtfully considering others’ input. It’s about balance—not letting others’ voices drown out your own. And when you do this, something magical happens. You start to feel more confident, more fulfilled, and, yes, genuinely happier. People often respect you more when they see that you’re not just living to please them.
I’ll leave you with this: if you’re trapped in the cycle of trying to meet others’ expectations, take a step back and listen to your inner voice. Give yourself permission to be unapologetically you. Embrace the idea that your life isn’t a stage meant for others’ applause—it’s a masterpiece meant for your own admiration.